Yes, it’s not all beautiful. Sometimes motherhood is so dang frustrating! Sometimes I just want some time to myself. I’m not even asking for a lot people. I just want to go down into my basement for 40 minutes and workout. All by myself. Daddy is upstairs with the boys. Joshua and Grady should be able to play together or watch TV for half an hour and go to their dad if they want something. They SHOULD be able to do this. Instead they won’t stop coming down into the basement and getting in my way or fighting or getting into something they aren’t supposed to. So I have to pause my workout constantly to break up fights or try to get them involved in something other than me. Finally I just push “stop” and give up because it’s much too frustrating trying to get my workout in.
When Grady finally naps we get some quiet time in the house. I just want to sit down and meal plan, or blog or fold some laundry. Joshua SHOULD be able to entertain himself for a little bit, right? This is Joshua’s time to play with toys that have tiny pieces or build something and not have to worry about his little brother knocking it down. Joshua can play and not have to share anything! But that doesn’t happen. Joshua will not play by himself. Instead he just follows me around the house. He crawls all over me and won’t leave me alone. And I gotta tell ya, it’s frustrating sometimes. I do A LOT for my kids and sometimes just need them to entertain themselves for 30 freaking minutes. A mama needs some time to herself!
Motherhood is…Grieving Tomorrow
At least once a day a sad thought goes through my mind about these 2 growing up. As excited as I am to watch them grow, change and develop, it’s also a little sad to watch the stages end. Their gained independence is freeing yet I’m already sad for the day they don’t want to sit on my lap or be packed around anymore. I love Joshua’s nieve innocence and fear the day he knows more than I do. Grady is in the cutest little toddler stage and soon he will be a threenager and onery as snot! I want to freeze time. As much as I can’t wait to see all they accomplishment and become, I don’t want them to become teenagers. This childhood thing just happens so dang fast. Where did my babies go? I’m already grieving tomorrow and the loss of these moments of 4 and 2.
Motherhood is…Washing Little Humans
Bath time. Every night. I have to be completely honest here…it is not my favorite. They completely entertain themselves and I just sit there. Sometimes a little bored. And make sure they don’t drown. But I have to admit that listening to their sweet voices talk and sing is the sweetest. And one day they will force me out of the bathroom and scream “MOOOMM!”if I almost see their private parts. *sigh* I must truly live in every moment. Like watching small boys splash and giggle in the bathtub. Oh sweet motherhood. ♡
Motherhood is…finding your WHY.
Why I strive to be a better person. Why I work so hard on myself physically, emotionally and mentally. Why I read parenting books on how to do it right. Why my life has purpose and meaning. Why I cry and why I laugh everyday. Why my life is never dull. Why I am stronger. Why I believe in myself. Why I am proud.
These boys. My boys. Are my WHY in life. ♡
Motherhood is…Elusive time.
If only time would be still. For just a moment. Or a couple years. Four is my favorite age so far and I want to hold onto it for as long as I can. I’m in denial that my big boy will be five in 6 months.
Four is innocent. Four is a tiny voice and an adorable giggle. Four is dressing up in costumes and finding the magic in everything. Four is believing that Dad is the coolest and everything he does is rad. And four is already half-way over.
Elusive time is always on the move and difficult to catch. I hear all the time how quickly time goes and “before you know it you’ll be dancing at his wedding.” It’s so true and not realized until experienced. If only I could freeze time for just a little while.
Ohh my favorite part. My boys will both snuggle with me and I can’t get enough. I will be so sad when they outgrow my lap. Right after a nap when they are still waking up are the best snuggles of all. They will cuddle with other people, but save their best snuggles for Mom. And I kinda like that. 🙂
Ahh finally a moment to yourself. You’ve been looking forward to Grandma and Grandpa taking the babies over night so you can get just a little ME time followed by much overdue husband and wife time when the man gets home.
But then…the house is a little too quiet and a little too clean…and a small tear runs down your cheek.
You’re torn between gratefulness, relief and missing them terribly the second they walk out the door.
Motherhood is…picking up
I swear some days it feels like my life is picking up after little people. I just spend the entire day cleaning up the house and following the tornado.
It starts from the very second you become a mom. You are so exhausted after labor. And you pretty much live there, in a walking zombie coma, for the rest of their childhood days. You learn to live on little sleep from being up throughout the night for feedings, nightmares, bedwetting, illness and any other reason a babe can find not to sleep. So you quickly learn the true meaning of coffee. Like triple shots of coffee. And you adjust and it becomes the new norm and you are completely in love, but exhausted.
In case I haven’t mentioned it yet…being a mom is super awesome! I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I wouldn’t trade it for peaceful showers or quiet car rides. I wouldn’t trade it for warm dinners or more solitude. Because the truth is having these boys in my life is way better than all of that!
Joshua has the kindest heart. He tells me sweet things all of the time. He is a complete Mama’s boy and I adore him.
Grady is the cutest human I have ever seen in my life. I just stare at him for hours and wonder how I made something so beautiful.
Both of my boys are so smart and spunky and fun. Being their mom is…well, awesome. 🙂