Mom guilt…every mom everywhere has experienced it. And lately it’s been heavy on my heart. Why? Because I don’t play with my kids enough. And I yell. A lot.
It’s winter and the Tumelsons hate winter. We aren’t the family to gear up and head to the mountains for sledding because we’d all last about 10 minutes and then we’d be cold and wet and want to go home. Even though this winter has been mild and in the 40’s that’s still about 15 minutes max for us and then we are back indoors next to the fireplace. So we are stuck inside and bored. My kids have more energy than they know what to do with. And the running and the jumping and the screaming and the fighting, even the delightful squeals are pushing me over the edge. So I yell. I lose my cool.
I’m also a firm believer in kids learning how to entertain themselves. It’s not my job to be friends with my kids and play with them. They should be able to play by themselves and boredom creates creativity. But sometimes I think I take that belief so far that a whole weekend will go by and I haven’t engaged in anything with my kids except cook for them, pick up after them and lose my patience with them.
But let’s be honest. Board games are ZERO fun with my kids. Joshua is a poor sport and sucks the fun right out of a game. Grady is too little to follow the rules or know how to play. Scratch that idea. Anytime I’ve got out coloring or crafts it holds their attention for about 5 minutes and then I have a huge mess to clean up. Anytime I’ve looked up Pinterest projects like slime or shaving cream Joshua freaks out about the texture and doesn’t like it. Each time I’ve tried to get them in the kitchen to bake cookies with me I end up doing it by myself because they last in the kitchen about 5 seconds.
I’m raising boys. Boys that want to run and jump and wrestle and shoot nerf guns at each other. And Mama just ain’t into all that. I do hang with them a lot outside in the summer. But this winter thing is lame. And we are all cooped up. And I don’t want to play with my kids.
And that’s the guilty truth.