Motherhood is…Really Hard.

It isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always smiles and love and cute. This isn’t the highlight reel. This is real life.

The hardest part is raising them to be good humans. And lately my boys have been acting like little assholes. Tonight both of them were sent to bed early without baths or stories or good night cuddles & songs. Brushed teeth and put themselves to bed. Joshua screamed at me when I told him something he didn’t want to hear. Grady bluntly, in a solid yet quiet voice, said “I hate you.” And even though I’m not sure he knows what it means to hate he used it in the right context and it still hurt my heart.

I pour myself into my kids everyday. And I’m not really sure how to teach them gratitude. How to teach them appreciation and mercy. I guess I will just keep asking God to help me lead by example.

I get worn down on days it seems that all I do and all I give isn’t good enough for my boys. I can only brush off so many hurtful tones and disrespect. And I get so tired of time-outs and isolation and early bedtimes.

Some days motherhood is just really hard.