Motherhood is…Grieving Tomorrow
At least once a day a sad thought goes through my mind about these 2 growing up. As excited as I am to watch them grow, change and develop, it’s also a little sad to watch the stages end. Their gained independence is freeing yet I’m already sad for the day they don’t want to sit on my lap or be packed around anymore. I love Joshua’s nieve innocence and fear the day he knows more than I do. Grady is in the cutest little toddler stage and soon he will be a threenager and onery as snot! I want to freeze time. As much as I can’t wait to see all they accomplishment and become, I don’t want them to become teenagers. This childhood thing just happens so dang fast. Where did my babies go? I’m already grieving tomorrow and the loss of these moments of 4 and 2.
Tonight wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. My little family of 4 was just at home together like every night. But tonight was different. Tonight was playful. Tonight was laughter. Tonight was special in the simplest of ways.
Nathan cooked homemade french fries freshly cut from potatoes and deep fried in the new fryer he got me for Christmas. He also baked Tyson chicken strips in the oven. So simple but so delicious and it put smiles on everyone’s faces. Grady chowed down the chicken strips and Joshua had 3 servings of french fries (this is big as getting him to eat anything at dinner is an accomplishment.) While I was cleaning up the dishes I heard delightful squeals coming from Joshua’s room. Then I hard “GLOW STICK PARTY!” Wanting to see what all this was about I put the dishes down and went to Joshua’s room to find the lights off and Joshua, Nathan and Grady all playing around with glow sticks. So Mom joined in on the fun. We started singing and dancing with glow sticks. I quickly finished cleaning up the dishes and then we got out some of the boys’ new games they got for Christmas. The 4 of us played TROUBLE and as you can imagine the 2 year old thought every turn was his turn. We finally just started calling Grady “my turn.” But all 3 of us were very patient with him (yes, you heard me right–all 3 of us! Joshua was so patient with his little brother and didn’t mind that Grady got to go every other turn.) We all just laughed and laughed at little brother.
Then it was bath time and tucked into bed with stories. Boys are dreaming and Mama gets some time to herself for blogging and Netflix.
I am grateful for all nights when my family is all together, but some nights are hard. Many nights are brothers fighting over sharing and taking turns. We get dizzy from rollercoaster toddler emotions and exhausted from long days at work. So when nights like tonight happen where all 4 of us are just happy to be together…when we laugh and play and are patient with each other…well, they are nights to remember.