Angel Baby

I feel it’s time to share my story. I want to share it for three reasons.
1. So people who have gone through similar experiences can read it and know they aren’t alone.
2. To promote awareness of IUD risks.
3. (Probably my biggest reason) Because not talking about it feels as though she, or he, never existed.

I lost a baby I didn’t even know I had.

It was a Monday. June 22, 2015.
We had just come off an amazing weekend watching our best friends get married out in the country. I was on summer break with the boys. Mondays were grocery days so I was in the bedroom picking out Grady some clothes to wear when out of nowhere this pain hit me. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. #2. When I tried to use the toilet it HURT. Any women reading this that have gone #2 while in labor know exactly the pain I’m talking about. Next I put Grady in his high chair with some snacks (because I knew that would keep him content for awhile) and I tried to lay down on the couch. I was sweating from the pain and couldn’t lay still. I called Nathan just because I was alarmed and wanted him to at least know what was going on, not that he could do much from work. Nathan told me to call my OBGYN just because the cramping was so intense. The nurse told me to come in. My mom came over to watch the boys and I went right down.

Doctor checked my IUD. All good. He pushed around on my uterus. All good. He told me to monitor the pain and I could get an ultrasound in a few days if it didn’t subside. He was thinking a possible cyst on my ovary. I left Valley Medical still in pain and no answer. I thought I would at least take advantage of being kidless and get my grocery shopping done before I headed home.

I can’t remember why I stopped at JoAnn’s Fabric first, but I did. While I was there I felt my underwear and I knew. Instantly I knew there was blood in my pants and the cramping was because I was having a miscarriage. A woman’s intuition knows. When I got to the ladies room my fear was confirmed when I saw the red. I went straight to the dollar store for a pregnancy test. I wasn’t wasting  $14 on one I knew what it’d say. Went straight home and saw 2 lines on my pee stick.

I learned two significant facts at the EXACT same time…I was pregnant and I was losing my baby.

Of course the nurse at Valley Medical told me to come right back. This information changed things. Doctor told me the color of the blood most likely meant a tubal pregnancy but I’d need an ultrasound to confirm. He asked me if I’d keep the baby if she was indeed in my uterus although the risk of miscarriage once removing the IUD was 50%. It didn’t matter the statistics, a healthy pregnancy couldn’t continue with the IUD still in place so it had to come out. Once the IUD was removed Doc said he’d try to get an ultrasound scheduled but with it being so late in the day it might be morning before I got in. I stopped for blood work and went home.

6:30pm that night I was able to have an ultrasound done at St. Joe’s. Nathan was off work and with me this time. The ultrasound tech didn’t say much, as they are instructed not to I’m told. I assumed we’d head back home and I would get a phone call in the morning with the results. But she didn’t send me home. She told me to stay. That Dr. Berg was on call and she needed to get her on the telephone. The technician told me she saw a significant amount of blood and once confirmed by the doctor I’d most likely be staying for immediate surgery. WHAT!

Dr. Berg told me that my blood work showed I was just under 6 weeks pregnant and the ultrasound found the fetus in my left fallopian tube. Doctor informed me I was going into surgery that night and wouldn’t be going home.

My head was spinning. 8:00 that morning I was fine, completely unaware of any of this…12 hours later I had learned I was having a miscarriage, that I was pregnant, that I was most likely losing the baby, but maybe I could have a baby, no the baby was in my fallopian tube and that I was going under for emergency surgery. And an emergency surgery it was. I had one nurse interviewing me, one nurse putting in an IV and another nurse strapping a bunch of wrist bands on me. A team of people were swirling around me and Nathan looked scared to death. My parents came to the hospital and gave me a kiss before they wheeled me off to the surgery room. Bright lights are the last thing I remember.

When I woke up Nathan was right by my side holding my hand. He told me that they had to remove my left fallopian tube completely and almost a liter of blood. Sperm had gotten past the IUD, fertilized an egg and the embryo got stuck behind the IUD and implanted into my fallopian tube. At almost 6 weeks the fetus finally got so big she ran out of room and the amniotic sac ruptured causing the intense hit of pain I felt that morning. Thank God for surgery that night because I may have hemorrhaged before morning.

After a few days, when the events finally sank in, I sobbed for the baby I would never get to hold.

IUD’S are 99.9% effective. Which means that I am .1% of woman who have gotten pregnant with an IUD in place. POINT ONE PERCENT!! God gave me that baby. And God took her, or him, home. And I don’t know yet why He did that. But I trust Him and I know there was a reason. I also know that little soul is with Jesus in Heaven and some day I will get to meet her.

My angel baby.

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