Father’s Day 2016

Oh, right…I’m a blogger. I always forget to post. So let’s back up to Father’s Day. 

I made a weekend of it. Nathan went fishing for Northern Pike Minnow during the day. Do you know the Idaho Fish and Game will PAY you to catch and turn in squaw fish? It’s true. Up to $8 a fish! So as you can imagine my fishing obsessed husband just turned it up another notch. So he did his thing and fished all morning while I worked on his surprise. I borrowed my dad’s truck and drove myself to Camp, Cabin and Home to purchase a pellet grill. I had done my homework and found that the Traegers have NOTHING on the Green Mountain grills. I got the exact same size pellet grill as the Traeger for $200 less with way more standard options. It was a no brainer. I got the Daniel Boone model (which always makes me think of our good friend Dan Forge whom we call Boone.) Anyway I got it home and hiding in the backyard. I wrapped up some New York steaks and a card. When Nathan got home I had him open the steaks and then told him he had to go to the backyard to see what he could cook them on. Ohhh was he excited!
This is hands down the largest, and most expensive, gift I’ve ever given him. He wasn’t expecting it and was pretty shocked. Which of course made giving the gift that much better. Our first meal we smoke-grilled definitely wouldn’t have won us award on Pitmasters–we had hotdogs. 😉

The next day was Sunday and the real Father’s Day. Nathan got to choose whatever we did that day so naturally he chose fishing. We took the boys up to Winchester Lake in hopes of getting Joshua on some blue gill.

Like father, like son.

Joshua struggled with the wind so he wasn’t able to cast out far enough from the bank to land his own fish but daddy let him reel in every one he hooked. 

The tiny brother wasn’t exactly thrilled to be sitting in the backseat for the action.

Grady loves the water so much I was afraid he would just run right in so I kept him confined. Until he just had enough. I took him up on the trail to investigate and peek his curiosity.

He found treasures like a pinecone and a feather.

The big boys struggled with the wind and the weeds until they couldn’t take it any longer and we moved spots. We found an open bank for more fishing and lunch.

It was a nice family day. Days like that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

52:17

Motherhood is…Snuggles.

image

Ohh my favorite part. My boys will both snuggle with me and I can’t get enough. I will be so sad when they outgrow my lap. Right after a nap when they are still waking up are the best snuggles of all. They will cuddle with other people, but save their best snuggles for Mom. And I kinda like that. 🙂

First Day of Summer Break

One could argue that last Friday was our first day of summer as it followed Thursday, the last day of school. However, Monday felt like the real first day of summer break as we started a new work week and I didn’t have to head out the door and leave my babies.
As I vowed to myself, I kept the schedule. Cartoons until breakfast at 7:30 and out the door by 9 for errands. We were home before Noon for lunch and then Joshua got to pick an item off his Bucket List. (Mondays are Bucket List days.)

He chose making crystals.

image

First step was to pour the crystal powder into a pot.

image

Next we added 1 1/4 cup of water.

image

Then I had to heat the mixture on the stove until the powder and water were mixed completely.

image

Almost done! Next we had to let the heated water sit covered for 60 minutes.

image

Last step was to pour the mixture into a plastic container with lid and let stand for a day or two.
I wish I had an awesome picture of a crystal, but I don’t. Our experiment kind of flopped. This is all we have…

image

image

image

Oh well. At least our first day wasn’t a flop. I got both boys to nap at 1pm giving me a little time to myself and by the end of the day my to-do list was complete.

I nailed the first day of summer!

Angel Baby

I feel it’s time to share my story. I want to share it for three reasons.
1. So people who have gone through similar experiences can read it and know they aren’t alone.
2. To promote awareness of IUD risks.
3. (Probably my biggest reason) Because not talking about it feels as though she, or he, never existed.

I lost a baby I didn’t even know I had.

It was a Monday. June 22, 2015.
We had just come off an amazing weekend watching our best friends get married out in the country. I was on summer break with the boys. Mondays were grocery days so I was in the bedroom picking out Grady some clothes to wear when out of nowhere this pain hit me. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. #2. When I tried to use the toilet it HURT. Any women reading this that have gone #2 while in labor know exactly the pain I’m talking about. Next I put Grady in his high chair with some snacks (because I knew that would keep him content for awhile) and I tried to lay down on the couch. I was sweating from the pain and couldn’t lay still. I called Nathan just because I was alarmed and wanted him to at least know what was going on, not that he could do much from work. Nathan told me to call my OBGYN just because the cramping was so intense. The nurse told me to come in. My mom came over to watch the boys and I went right down.

Doctor checked my IUD. All good. He pushed around on my uterus. All good. He told me to monitor the pain and I could get an ultrasound in a few days if it didn’t subside. He was thinking a possible cyst on my ovary. I left Valley Medical still in pain and no answer. I thought I would at least take advantage of being kidless and get my grocery shopping done before I headed home.

I can’t remember why I stopped at JoAnn’s Fabric first, but I did. While I was there I felt my underwear and I knew. Instantly I knew there was blood in my pants and the cramping was because I was having a miscarriage. A woman’s intuition knows. When I got to the ladies room my fear was confirmed when I saw the red. I went straight to the dollar store for a pregnancy test. I wasn’t wasting  $14 on one I knew what it’d say. Went straight home and saw 2 lines on my pee stick.

I learned two significant facts at the EXACT same time…I was pregnant and I was losing my baby.

Of course the nurse at Valley Medical told me to come right back. This information changed things. Doctor told me the color of the blood most likely meant a tubal pregnancy but I’d need an ultrasound to confirm. He asked me if I’d keep the baby if she was indeed in my uterus although the risk of miscarriage once removing the IUD was 50%. It didn’t matter the statistics, a healthy pregnancy couldn’t continue with the IUD still in place so it had to come out. Once the IUD was removed Doc said he’d try to get an ultrasound scheduled but with it being so late in the day it might be morning before I got in. I stopped for blood work and went home.

6:30pm that night I was able to have an ultrasound done at St. Joe’s. Nathan was off work and with me this time. The ultrasound tech didn’t say much, as they are instructed not to I’m told. I assumed we’d head back home and I would get a phone call in the morning with the results. But she didn’t send me home. She told me to stay. That Dr. Berg was on call and she needed to get her on the telephone. The technician told me she saw a significant amount of blood and once confirmed by the doctor I’d most likely be staying for immediate surgery. WHAT!

Dr. Berg told me that my blood work showed I was just under 6 weeks pregnant and the ultrasound found the fetus in my left fallopian tube. Doctor informed me I was going into surgery that night and wouldn’t be going home.

My head was spinning. 8:00 that morning I was fine, completely unaware of any of this…12 hours later I had learned I was having a miscarriage, that I was pregnant, that I was most likely losing the baby, but maybe I could have a baby, no the baby was in my fallopian tube and that I was going under for emergency surgery. And an emergency surgery it was. I had one nurse interviewing me, one nurse putting in an IV and another nurse strapping a bunch of wrist bands on me. A team of people were swirling around me and Nathan looked scared to death. My parents came to the hospital and gave me a kiss before they wheeled me off to the surgery room. Bright lights are the last thing I remember.

When I woke up Nathan was right by my side holding my hand. He told me that they had to remove my left fallopian tube completely and almost a liter of blood. Sperm had gotten past the IUD, fertilized an egg and the embryo got stuck behind the IUD and implanted into my fallopian tube. At almost 6 weeks the fetus finally got so big she ran out of room and the amniotic sac ruptured causing the intense hit of pain I felt that morning. Thank God for surgery that night because I may have hemorrhaged before morning.

After a few days, when the events finally sank in, I sobbed for the baby I would never get to hold.

IUD’S are 99.9% effective. Which means that I am .1% of woman who have gotten pregnant with an IUD in place. POINT ONE PERCENT!! God gave me that baby. And God took her, or him, home. And I don’t know yet why He did that. But I trust Him and I know there was a reason. I also know that little soul is with Jesus in Heaven and some day I will get to meet her.

My angel baby.

Weekend Update

Here’s to an awesome weekend!!!

Saturday:

I happen to be in a wedding this summer for one of my best friends and this weekend was her bachelorette party. We took a guided fishing trip up Hells Canyon and it’s an experience I am thankful for. It is so stinkin’ beautiful up that canyon!!

image

There were 10 girls, a guide, a deck hand, coolers of beer, plenty of food and fishing rods. We had a blast catching baby bass, crawdads, a couple small sturgeon and oh just an 8 foot sturgeon! What a ride this was. It took 8 of us girls an hour to get that guy to shore. We were jacked!!

image

image

image

image

It was the best day.

image

image

image

image

That night we came back to our house and met the guys here for dinner and a fire in the backyard.

Sunday:

My parents took the boys up to CDA for the night on Saturday so Nathan and I were anxious for them to get home on Sunday. The weather was beautiful and we spent most of the day just hanging out together in the backyard. Nathan was experimenting with some tackle and rods so of course Joshua jumped right in and started practicing his casting. Grady wasn’t far from the action, naturally.

image

image

image

A nice day just together before daddy went back to work and we started our first day of summer vacation.

Summer Schedule & Bucket List

The idea for a Summer Bucket List came from my bestie, Jenna. You can find her blog post about it here.

At the beginning of every summer I always think, “Oh we have so much time to do so many fun things” and then summer is over and I haven’t really done anything special with the boys. So I thought this summer will be better. I wrote out a schedule, both a weekly and a daily.

image

My daily schedule is actually written out by the hour so that we’ll follow the same routine each day just like during the school year. Breakfast at this time everyday, backyard play at this time, lunch time, rest time, etc.

As you can see Monday is “Bucket List Day.” Every Monday we will pick one thing to cross off our list.

image

This is only one page. So far we have 4 pages of things to do. Joshua helped come up with the ideas. He even wanted to help write the list so of course I encouraged that!

image

Tuesdays are one of my favorite days. They are play group days with all of my favorite teachers. This way us ladies can still see each other and talk over the summer and for the kids it’s one giant play date. We meet up at the park or pool or beach.

Wednesdays I’ve designated for time swimming at my mom and dad’s pool. They put it in in September so this is our first summer with it and I look forward to swimming with my water babes.

Thursdays are grocery days and Fridays will just depend on if Nathan has to work or not and if we are leaving town for the weekend.

I’m looking forward to the summer and know it will go far too quickly. Stay tuned for lots of posts on the fun things we do. 🙂

Last Day of School

And just like that, another school year has come to a close.

image

It always hits me after they are out the door and the classroom looks empty. Old supplies are thrown away, student projects, folders, and pictures have been taken home. The room is bare. And I realize they aren’t coming back. That’s when my eyes prick with tears. Goodbyes are hard. I’ve spent 9 months with them. They were babies when they came to me. I mean freshly 5 year old babies! I spent 6.5 hours a day, 5 days a week with them for 180 days! Right before my eyes they grew up a little bit more and now they are moving on. It’s hard every year.

Of course there is another side to the last day of school. The side of me that is so excited to be a stay at home mom with my own babies for 2 months. Joshua and I have a summer “bucket list” of all the fun things we want to do. I can’t wait to slow down with the boys. Summer mornings and coffee on the back patio while they play before it gets hot. A lot of swimming in Grammy and Papa’s new pool. Play dates with friends. Camp outs in the backyard. Yes, I’m excited.

I am so thankful to be a teacher. I can’t say it’s a job because I feel like teaching is more of a lifestyle. I get the best of both worlds because I get to be a working mom and a stay at home mom.  I am sad (like really sad!) to see this year’s class go, thankful for my summer and excited for my new group of kinder babies.

Green Thumb

In all my life I’ve never been accused of having a green thumb. I can kill anything. Seriously. My mom gave me a pot with succulents and told me that they need very little water and that I couldn’t kill them…

image

…and well, I killed them.

I think I forget that plants are a living thing and have needs, like water, to not only thrive but survive period.

So I decided that this year will be different! I have planted a tiny garden and potted flowers and it’s my summer goal to keep them alive.

Check out my flowers. Aren’t they pretty? I love lillys.

image

image

I also planted some vegetables in a barrell. Now I realize that I probably way over planted my barrell but it’s my experiment and I won’t go so crazy next year. I just got super excited over all the things I thought I could grow when I was browsing Home Depot!

image

I planted tomatoes, peas, cucumbers and banana peppers. Yes in one barrell. I warned ya, I went overboard. But check out how well it’s doing weeks later!!

image

AND wait for it…

image

I officially have a pepper. I grew something you guys! 🙂

image

The tomatoes are coming!

I love my yard this time of year. It’s beautiful.

image

image

image

image

My plan is to start my day with coffee on my back porch this summer. 4 more days and I get to slow down with my boys and enjoy our yard even more. 🙂

It’s SO Worth It

A handful of my friends have kids and a handful of my closest don’t. And what does a mama do when  she gets around her friends? She vents. Because we need a safe outlet to let our frustrations out. I try so hard not to let my kids know that I’m self-doubting or trying really hard to like them some days. So when I have a chance to vent, I do. When I’m about to lose my mind I let my friends hear me out. (Because that’s what friends do for each other.)

As a result I get a lot of, “That’s why I don’t want kids.”

Welllll I did just tell you that I was trying to take care of business in the bathroom when I was bombarded by a crying toddler and 4 year old that needed strawberry milk right NOW! When I finally got out of the bathroom I found the older brother had covered the entire bedroom, including the baby brother, in baby powder. Not to mention there were Cherrios in my hair and I’d been up since 5am on a Saturday. I can see why my friend might think that kids are overrated.

But then there are these moments, and sometimes they are small moments and sometimes they are more significant, but there are moments when I think to myself, “How could I truly live without experiencing this moment with my kid?”

That was my Thursday night at Joshua’s 3’s preschool graduation  program. Pride overwhelmed me as my boy got up on that stage and sang every word, to every song, while making eye-contact with his teacher the entire time. He seemed so…big. My baby boy. Tears ran down my cheeks throughout the entire program. But they were happy tears. I was SO happy to be his mom.

image

image

Joshua was so excited and could not wait to get to his program. As soon as he got out on that stage he smiled from ear to ear. Afterwards we went and got icecream and it was a real treat because this might have been Joshua’s 2nd icecream cone of his life.

image

All night I was emotional because again, I was just so happy to be his mom. I felt joy.

It’s SO worth it. Raising kids is hard. So hard. But I can’t imagine a life without my boys. How dull and boring that would be. How much JOY my life would be missing without them.

Joshua James…I am so proud of you.

image

I wouldn’t trade my life as a mom with boys for anything.

image