I’m 38 weeks & 4 days pregnant.
My last doctor’s appointment was on Thursday. Dr. Urquhart did his first cervical check and told me that I’m 1cm dilated and around 25% effaced. (a start.) He also said that if I’m still pregnant at 42 weeks on February 21st we’d talk about induction. (Oh how I pray this pregnancy doesn’t go that far!) The point being, even though I’ve started to dilate it could be days, or weeks, from now. The guessing game.
Nathan went fishing today. He was a little nervous because the plan was to go way up the Clearwater river and he was worried about cell service in case I needed to reach him. Around 4:00 I started to wonder when he’d be home so I called his cell.
Nathan: “Are you in labor?!?!”
Me: (haha) “No, I was just wondering where you’re at and how things are going.”
And that is 9 months pregnant. Anxious anticipation.
I have loved being pregnant. The first 8 months has been fun watching my belly grow from week to week and reading about baby’s weekly developments. Nathan and I have been busy making plans and thinking about all of the fun things we get to do with this little boy. I’ve had way too much fun decorating the nursery and receiving baby stuff. I’ve felt good in this pregnancy. I’ll admit it, I’m good at being pregnant.
But those 8 months are over and now we’re in the 9th month…which is a whole new game! The 9th month is a rollercoaster of mixed emotions. Happy/excited/anxious/nervous/content/uncomfortable.
I’m happy because I’ve made it this far and everything has gone exactly as planned. I’ve kept myself healthy and focused on keeping this baby healthy. I’m happy because I’ve daydreamed about the 9th month and it’s here! Baby is full term and can come at anytime and be completely ready for life outside the womb.
So I’m excited! I could be holding my baby in my arms in a matter of days! I finally get to put a baby in those clothes I’ve been adoring. I get to cuddle and kiss him. All of our planning and preparing is about to be put into practice. We can’t wait to be parents! 🙂
I’m also feeling very anxious. I have no idea when this baby will be here. Just because he could be here now doesn’t mean he’s going to be. Remember the beginning of this post when I said I could still be pregnant on February 21st?! That’s almost a month away! I can’t imagine being pregnant for another month after making it this far. 10 months pregnant? No thank you! Everyday I’m evaluating every little symptom wondering if it means something…is this my body preparing for labor? I’m feeling crampy today, is this the start of labor? Anxious. Very anxious.
I’m nervous. Again, it’s so unknown. Every birth story is so different and I don’t know what mine will be like. I’ve never done this before but I know one thing for sure, it’s going to hurt. I’ve never really been hurt. I’ve never broken a bone or been in the hospital as a patient before. I’ve only had one IV in my life (wisdom teeth) and a handful of shots. I’m not good with pain and I’ve got to step up to the plate and be strong. It makes me nervous.
I’m also content. Content because right now Nathan and I can still sleep in on the weekends as late as we want. If our friends call us up last minute and invite us to dinner and a movie we can go. Our life together is about to change and these are the last final moments living life as we’ve known it. So part of me (a VERY small part) is okay with baby hanging out nice and snug in my belly.
I’m also really uncomfortable. This baby has gotton heavy! He’s big and running out of room. He’s sitting on my bladder causing me to go to the bathroom all of the time. He’s pushing up on my stomach which causes me to repeatedly puke in my mouth after I eat. I have indigestion bad. My lower half aches and feels like its going to fall on the floor after I’ve been sitting for periods of time. My ribs are sore. I can’t fit into hardly any of my clothes anymore. Baby has also found my sciatic nerve. The selfish part of me really wants my body back! Part of me (a BIG part) is done being pregnant. Nathan admitted that he is ready for this pregnancy stage to end, too.
The 9th month just gets a catergory of it’s own. Thank goodness its only one month or less!
I’m ready for that little foot that kicks me everyday on the inside to be on the outside.